Q&A | Single Mother Edition
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| At an Art Gallery viewing paintings💫 2024. Oya Obinidodo. All rights reserved. |
These are my exact answers to being a single mother and a convicted felon.
Question:
What’s been the biggest challenge for you as a single mom with a felony record?
My Answer:
My biggest challenge is buying a house. It's hard getting a house when you have a felony record. It's also hard renting one. Renters are very picky these days and it's hard to find a good neighborhood. Even Airbnb is picky, I tried to get on the platform in 2021, so I could rent a property and go on a vacation, but I was blocked for security reasons.
I tried to get back on again a few months ago, in 2024, and I was still blocked. I contacted Airbnb to see if they could unblock my account, but I didn't get a reply. I plan to contact them again, but at the end of the day, Airbnb's are extremely expensive, and buying or renting a house of your own would still be a better choice.
Question:
How do you think your past experiences have shaped the way you raise your kids?
My Answer:
I'm very strict with my kids because I don't want them to go down the path that I did. I'm always schooling them and monitoring their behavior so that they won't end up in bad situations like I did. I'm not as lenient as some parents are. I'm always making them aware of predators and how they should avoid them. If I had never went through bad things, I wouldn't know how to teach them about staying safe. I would probably think that everyone has their best interest at heart, but being that I went through hell on earth, I know that they don't. I'm always teaching them not to be green and naive when it comes to other people.
Question:
Can you share a moment when you felt judged or misunderstood because of your background?
My Answer:
I get judged all of the time. People think I'm dumb. They think I'm slow and retarded. They think I'm ghetto. They think I'm gay and bi. I'm not gay just because I'm a single mother. I've been heterosexual since birth. They think I'm ratchet, and they think I lie and steal. All because of my background. I'm none of those things. I'm an honest human being.
People are always giving me funny looks and always accusing me of things that I never did. People are very racist and it's something that I just have to deal with. If they judge me and don't trust me, then there's nothing I can do about that. I can do everything I can to prove that I'm an honest person and they will still mistreat me and misunderstand me. That's life.
People also judge me and treat me like I have a baby father just because I'm a parent. Just because I'm a single mother, that doesn't mean that I have a baby daddy. I don't belong to some deadbeat, m.i.a, whormongering, narcissistic, incestuous, downlow gay bully.
I'm a woman and a human being and I deserve to be treated better than a piece of trash. I have goals and dreams. Having kids by a rainbow, downlow gay man is like having kids with a girl. It feels mad violating. The rainbows are more protected and safe than I am. It's a lot of them and they protect each other no matter what. The gays never turn on each other. I'm not jealous, I just think it's unfair. I should be able to feel safe too, even when I'm alone.
Question:
What advice would you give to other single mothers facing similar struggles?
My Answer:
The only advice I can give another single mother is I would tell them to stay the hell away from me because I'm not their friend. I've never met another single mother that can relate to me. Most of them are bogus. They should stay in their lanes, take care of their kids, and mind their business respectfully.
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| At art gallery. 2024. Oya Obinidodo. All rights reserved. |
Question:
How do you balance your personal life, motherhood, and the stigma of being a convicted felon?
My Answer:
I just do. I don't know how to explain that.
Question:
Have you found any support systems or communities that help you navigate this journey?
My Answer:
Absolutely not. Everyone is bogus and funny acting towards me. No one checks on me, they don't invite me anywhere, and they never like my pics on Instagram or support any of my events. All they do is bully me, isolate me, lie, prey on me, and harass me. I just deal with it. There no real support out here.
Question:
What steps have you taken to rebuild your life after your conviction?
My Answer:
I started off by getting off probation back in 2022. I took all of the court ordered classes that I was supposed to take while I was on probation and I checked in at the probation office every month or week. I forgot how many times I had to go but I had to go for several years. After that, I had my civil rights restored. I was supposed to go check in at the police station and show them the papers of my restored rights so that they could take my fingerprints and update my file, but I never went. I'm scared of police stations.
After I had my civil rights restored, I became more selective of where I go and how I carry myself, so that I won't get in anymore trouble. I started looking over my shoulders more and started staying away from as many harmal environments and people as possible. I started isolating from society more and learning how to have my own back, because no one is going to have it for me.
Question:
How do you talk to your kids about your past, and what do you want them to learn from it?
My Answer:
I tell them to stay away from gangs. Gangs aren't for kids. If you want to act like a grown adult then you going to have to take that grown adult charge when the rats starts snitching and the gang members start turning on you. Some kids think that they can get off the hook just because they are kids, but most of the time they know exactly what they are doing and are charged as an adult in court. Some kids spend all of their life in prison and I tell my kids that is not the way to go. The prison life is very treacherous and evil.
Everyone isn't as loyal as they claim to be. 99.9% of them are frauds and not real gang members. I also taught my kids to stay away from predators and bad people and people that pretend to be something that they are not. I want them to learn from me so that they won't have to witness the traumatic things that I did.
Walking Thru a small Art Gallery
Question:
Are there any misconceptions about being a felon that you’d like to clear up?
My Answer:
Like I said earlier, just because I'm a felon, that doesn't mean I'm gay, doesn't mean I lie, and doesn't mean that I'm a thief. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Having a felony doesn't mean that I'm dirty or smelly either. I take baths everyday and I don't smell. Having a felony doesn't mean that I'm easy in bed either. It doesn't mean that I'm a hoe and a throwaway "piece of meat". I'm a human being with feelings and I want to be respected like any other human would want.
Question:
What are some of your hopes and dreams for the future, both for yourself and your children?
My Answer:
I want to be rich one day. I want a big, fancy house that was built from scratch. I want to travel the world with alot of money in my pocket. I want millions of followers on Instagram and millions of monthly listeners so that my voice can reach the world. I want to free myself from the abusive, sick, predators that tease me and harass me daily. I want to live in cleanliness, not filth.
I want fame, notoriety, and wealth, without having to sell my soul and die for it. I want to buy my kids houses and cars and I want to protect them from predators and the system. I want to see them grow up to be successful. I don't want them to get tortured and bullied like I did. I know that my dreams might sound far fetched and unrealistic to many, but it's the truth. I just want to be wealthy and I want to start over with a clean slate. If I can't have all that, then I'll just die a poor, black single mother, and live a basic life infested by poverty, gay homosexuals, predators, and bullies.
